Are you tired of being skinny and want to bulk up? Do you want to rock those sleeveless shirts and look like a ripped superhero? Well, I have great news for you! I’m here to give you the perfect ultimate guide to gaining muscle in just three easy steps. However, let me warn you, as always, you won’t follow them.

Step 1: Train Harder Than a Navy SEAL

The first and most important step to gain muscle is by working out harder than a Navy SEAL, every single day. You should lift weights so heavy that all the birds outside your gym will eventually fly away. You should push yourself so much that you’ll sweat like a pig, hate yourself, yet still feel motivated to carry on. This may seem like common sense, but let’s face it, even my cats could guess that you won’t do this.

Step 2: Quit Eating Fast Food Right Now

The second step to gain muscle is by eating clean, and that means saying goodbye to fast food and junk food. You need to eat as many greens as you can fit in your mouth and an outrageous amount of protein. You also need to drink lots of water and sleep like a bear, or your muscle growth will never happen. But let’s be real here, how many times have you said you’d quit fast food, only to end up in front of a greasy burger five hours later?

Step 3: Never, Ever Give Up

The final step to gain muscle is to never give up and stay motivated. You need to stick to your workout routine and your healthy diet plan, even if you feel like giving up. You must find a “why” that drives you, whether it’s to impress that special someone, or to prove to yourself that you can do it. But, let’s face it, if you’re still reading this, you’re probably already trying to convince yourself to skip your next gym session.

In conclusion, there you have it. My perfect guide to gaining muscle in just three easy steps that no one will ever follow. Remember, gaining muscle is not a one-day process, and it requires a lot of patience and continuous hard work. You can have the best trainer, the best gym, and the best mindset, but if you don’t act on it, then nothing will change. So, get off your couch, follow my guide and prepare for the ever-frustrating realization that you’ll likely be back at square one before you know it. Just remember, it’s always easy to say it, but it’s never easy to do it.

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