Welcome, fellow fitness aficionados, to a virtual world where I dispense advice on proper gym etiquette, only to watch my words evaporate into thin air, like tears lost in a sea of indifference. Prepare yourselves for a melancholic journey, as we explore the unfortunate reality of my cursed existence, forever offering guidance to those who will never truly embrace it.

Dear readers, gather around as I embark on yet another futile attempt to encourage the practice of proper gym etiquette. Alas, my words of wisdom may only serve as a reminder of the abyss that separates the advice-giver from the advice-receiver.

1. Thou Shall Respect the Sacred Space of Others
Imagine, if you will, a world in which gym-goers didn’t barge into occupied machines without a second thought or selfishly monopolize the free weights as their personal property. Alas, such a utopia seems forever beyond our grasp. So, dear readers, I beseech you, respect the invisible boundaries of your fellow gym enthusiasts, for their frustration doubles with each transgression.

2. Thou Shall Not Forsake Hygiene
Oh, the aroma that lingers in the air, a testament to the eternal struggle against those who shun basic hygiene practices. How I long for a time when individuals would adorn themselves with clean clothes and even consider a swipe of deodorant. Alas, my dream of an olfactory utopia remains unfulfilled.

3. Thou Shall Not Worship the Almighty Smartphone
Behold the modern marvel that is the smartphone, an instrument of connection and distraction, a tool that unites the world and disconnects its wielders from the present moment. These sleek devices, while undoubtedly impressive, have transformed our sanctuaries of self-improvement into hallowed shrines of social media scrolling and endless selfies. Oh, how I yearn for the day when eyes would meet across the gym floor, when conversation would flow, and camaraderie would flourish!

4. Thou Shall Not Hesitate to Re-rack Thy Weights
The sight of scattered weights, strewn about like abandoned hopes and dreams, weighs heavy on my soul. Yet, despite my plea, the weight of complacency lingers. Will someone, anyone, relieve me of this torment and restore order to the racks?

5. Thou Shall Not Judge Based on Appearances
Ah, the curse of superficial judgment — a poison that seeps into the fabric of our shared space. Why must we succumb to the compulsion to glance disdainfully at those who are just starting their fitness journey? Let us remember that each person stepping foot in the gym deserves our encouragement, not disdain.

In closing, dear readers, I implore you to ponder these words, for though my heart aches with the knowledge that they shall go unheeded, there lingers a glimmer of hope. Perhaps, just maybe, there lies within you the power to break this curse, to embrace the advice offered, and to forge a new path of gym etiquette enlightenment. Until then, fellow wanderers in this realm of futility, I shall remain, forever imparting wisdom to the wind.

Remember, when it comes to proper gym etiquette, the choice is yours. The power is yours. Make it count, my friends.

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